I’m adding some extra photos of Lim. It’s been around a month since I spent this day with her, trying to arrange her accomodation. We went to her place, which is the interior shots, where she had been locked out for reasons she didn’t understand (which she talks about in her video) but also we went looking for a two bedroom place so I could accomodate her at no cost to myself.

Well this didn’t work out, as I detailed elsewhere, I couldn’t arrange two rooms and ended up paying a foreigner price for one room and so I stay alone and she is in the same situation.

We have a mutual friend who looked at my website and associated Youtube Channel and he was upset that I had mentioned the nature of her work in the title (of the webpage and video). We had a back and forth, my argument being she identifies herself that was and to see it as negative is a judgement and denies her an identity, as it might symbolise sisterhood to her?

Well in the end I backed down and changed it, mainly because he’s a good friend rather than feeling I’d made a mistake.

Well I’ve been around when Lim is there and I realised that I’m getting the silent treatment/being ghosted completely. It took me a while to realise as it’s normal in this culture not to greet people sometimes – but now I’ve got that I’m invisible.

So she’s angry because I didn’t rent accomodation that would have solved her problems, although as I explained, it simply wasn’t possible. I felt quite bad for a while, but then had a reality check, that I’m trying to help, I owe her nothing, while I’m spending time looking for accomdation I was giving her small amounts of money. I think back now to stories she told me about previous, better situations she was in and how she walked out on them. Also, I’ve known her about four years, but for much of that she was also angry and ignoring me, and I don’t even recall why now.

The deeper I get into these stories, the more nuanced I realise it all is. People, and their problems, are complex. I wanted to post lots of success stories, of all the difference I am making, but that isn’t going to be as easy as I thought. But my attitude is to be open to serving people somehow. To be on the lookout for shadowvoices, ready for a path of giving to open up. Just today I was sitting with a soda outside the convenience shop and met a woman with a family who told me she’d just arrived from Siem Reap and asked if she could sleep on my floor. Perhaps is I had have got that other accomodation I could have been in a better position. Tbere is no want of need, I, at this point, trust life energy to manifest solutions. All I have is the attitude of surrender.